By Roberta Ross,
America's Six Figure Real Estate Coach
In today’s robust age of social media, “following” and “un-following” people in the cyber world is just a matter of a click. In under a minute you get to choose what you allow into your feed, your sphere, and your daily dose of social media. Especially now, during heated election climates – turning people’s opinions off or on has become even more of a chore. It’s interesting though, when you start to think about how we can do that out here in the physical world of colleagues, friends, family, and neighbors. It takes more than click to disconnect ourselves from influences that don’t meet our expectations, wreak havoc on our sensibilities, or stray far from our core beliefs.
A friend of mine who tends to get pulled into a lot of events and activities (which she often grows to resent) often remarks about how I don't, and that she's a bit envious. I tend to partake only in the gatherings that I feel a sincere interest in. This has kept my mind and time clear of a bunch of busyness and having to think about things, people, and drama that would only distract me from what I really want to experience. People say it is tough to say no. While it can be a challenge at times, when you consider how draining or toxic the wrong-fit people can be on your life, career, and family - in reality it's much easier. Not just because they have opinions that differ from yours. The world would certainly be a boring place indeed if we were all of the same opinion, right? Diversity is good. Questioning of opinions is good. Provoking new thoughts, ideas, even ideologies is healthy stuff. But those folks that cross the line by berating or belittling, or seemingly aren’t capable of a positive impact on your life? Those folks may be just the ones you need to not only filter out of your social media feed, but also out of your daily life.
Why? Because toxic people and influences inhibit your ability to grow to your full potential. Their negative expression often holds you back, challenges your strength, and maybe even your self-worth. Thankfully, no one really has or should be given that kind of control or power over your life and dreams. You are in the driver’s seat. The question is, are your hands on the wheel?
I encourage you to recognize the truth – that you are the one who determines who influences your days, your goals, your success – and even how you handle or manage failures. There’s a great quote by Hans Hasen that says, “People inspire you, or they drain you. PICK THEM WISELY.” The cool thing is that we do get to pick. Every day is a matter of choice in terms of who you let into your sphere. Will you look to mentors who can lift you up? Friends who are always there? Teachers or trainers or coaches who inspire you to shake off limitations and create substantial growth? It’s up to you.
Whether you’re scrolling through a social media feed or connecting with people out here in the real world, choose wisely the “friends” you follow and “un-follow”. Will that always be easy? Of course not. But here’s the thing – it’s not only all right to set boundaries, it’s really a well-being must. Figure out what your personal boundaries are and don’t be afraid to hold firm to them. Go to where you are lovingly drawn, to those who are of sincere interest, or those who share a similar passion for life. You are each other's path to more of what each of you want! Hanging out with the wrong-fit people inhibits your growth and theirs, so you're not doing each other any favors.
Say yes to what's "it" for you and no to what is "not it" for you. You need not sacrifice. And, remember, this is not about judgment. Judgment serves no one, especially you. Everyone is on their path at their pace. This is about choice. This one important shift is a huge step that can be the difference between success and failure, positive and negative relationships, and healthy versus an unhealthy life. Be a your own best friend and choose wisely!
Consistency is More Vital Now Than Ever Before
By Six Figure Real Estate Coach Roberta Ross
There was a program on the radio the other day that featured a lot of what people would call, “one-shot-wonders”. Those artists that knocked it out of the park with one song, then were rarely, if ever heard from again. It makes you think, “what happened?” These people were clearly talented, had what it took to reach the top, so why just the one hit? It reminded me a little of some real estate agents I’ve met. Eager, talented, and full of action – ONCE. They showed up strong once and got a listing. Awesome-right? Absolutely. But every day is a new day in this business. There’s no resting on your laurels, ask any top producers out there. They’ll tell you that no one, not even the heavy hitters have the luxury of not showing up day after day, year after year.
“But Roberta, it’s hard!” I know, but it doesn’t have to be as hard as some make it. Not when you put the right systems in place and treat your business like the business that it is. And those same top producers I just mentioned will tell you that it gets easier the longer you stay at it. Why? Because you will develop that brand name awareness that will help drive referrals month after month. They will tell you that they no longer have to wonder where their next commission is coming from or IF they have another commission coming in. They can count on referrals and business from their sphere of influence and farm because they are actively engaged in reaching out to those VIPs on a consistent basis.
Step one: Get your database of friends, family, past clients, and in a manageable system so you can market to them. This is where most agents break down. They feel as if they have to start with a giant, end-total number. To which I like to pull out this gem from Arthur Ashe, “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” If your goal is to have 1,000 people in your database but you currently only have 120 in, don’t wait for the 1,000 to be inputted. At least get SOMETHING out to the 120! Then make it a goal to add people in manageable numbers and start the process to them as well. Once you have your database filled, then your next goal can be to add a person for every day of the year. It’s really not hard when you get the hang of it.
Step two: Decide what to send. There are so many great services out there for sending personalized direct mail affordably and easily. There are also some terrific and fun email services that provide content for agents to send via email as well.
Some recommendations would be:
Step three: Commit to sending out something once a month for a whole year and do it. When you do you will be creating a habit that will grow your business in such a powerful way.
Step four: Follow up. You should be reaching out to every member of your sphere of influence at least twice per year. The direct mail or email you send will warm that call and make it easy for you to connect – not to SELL them on anything or pressure them to list, but to build that relationship with them and let them know you are a resource that is there for them WHENEVER they might need assistance.
Step five: Get out there! Meet fresh faces, make new contacts, and start building relationships with those new people so that they will soon know you, like you, and trust you enough to do business with them – that moves them from “prospect” to sphere of influence. Remember – you’re adding one per day – or 365 new people per year to your base!
Statistics tell us one in every twelve will refer business or do business with you themselves each year. That sounds like great motivation to me to build and maintain that list!
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave them here or find me on Facebook! Happy listing!
Your Ability to Overcome
By Six Figure Real Estate Coach Roberta Ross
Ever think about the fact that you made it through 100% of the toughest things you ever had to go through? Maybe not always unscathed, and certainly rarely unchanged, but you made it through. That’s resilience at work and character coming through. When you think about adversity in that way, it offers perspective and makes it a little easier when you hit the next bump in the road. It’s that resilience and perspective that will take you further in your career and life than those who let all the little things stop them in their tracks. They are what tell you that nothing lasts, not the good or bad, so instead of worrying about what MAY happen, or fret about a mistake or wrong turn, you can dig down and know that you have the ability to overcome.
What helps foster that sense of resilience?
- History proves that you are stronger than you probably think you are. You’ve overcome adversity before, so you can put faith in the fact that you have the skills and will to do it again, and again.
- Celebrate the wins. We get more of what we focus on, remember? So certainly focusing on the wins rather than the failures is a better way to stay mentally strong and invite more success in your life.
- Find the lessons. Every adversity carries with it seeds of opportunity. They might be difficult to see in the moment but they are always there. In fact, in some cases, adversities can create exactly the kind of fundamental change we need to head our lives or careers in a better direction.
- Keep your wits – and your wit. Humor is an amazing equalizer and it has tremendous potential to lift the human spirit and change the course of negative emotion.
- Consider contribution. When we are service focused, we can have a bad day or a bad moment, but know that there are others relying on us, so we can’t afford, for their sake, to unpack and stay in a space of doubt, fear, uncertainty, anger, or sadness. When we give to others, it takes us out of what we are feeling and puts the attention on the act of service instead.
- Be kind to yourself as well. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say, “I’m my own worst enemy.” Or “I’m not good enough to accomplish that.” Phrases like these can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Speak to yourself in the way you would speak to a friend or favorite colleague. Would you tear them down or build them up? Be at least as good to yourself as you are to others and remember that sometimes you are doing the best with what you have in the moment – and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Practice the traits of resilience and you’ll find that even when life hands you a curve, you’ll not only handle it with grace, you’ll put that obstacle right underneath your feet and pave the next step in your life or career with it.
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Find me on Facebook or leave a message here and tell me how resilience plays a part in your life.
Choosing the Right People to Surround Yourself With
By Six Figure Real Estate Coach Roberta Ross
I’m not sure who said it first, but I love the quote, “People can be a fountain or a drain – choose wisely.” It’s one of those phrases that stays with you. It makes you think about the relationships in your life – and also about the person you choose to be each day. Since none of us are really climbing the ladders to our successes solo, who we choose to surround ourselves with can either enhance the journey or hold us back. So it’s important to pick those people wisely.
Jim Rohn famously said, “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” Well that could be an eye opener for a lot of folks. Take a look around you. Are the people that you are consistently connecting with and who have the greatest influence on you fountains or drains? Are they caught up in the “doom and gloom” news being broadcast in the media or subscribe to that Chicken Little, “sky is falling” mentality? I’m not talking about those who share a legitimate issue who need support during a trying time. I’m talking about those whose goal it seems is to make sure everyone they can find is invited to the pity party or drama play they’ve created because that is their comfort zone. The “I hate my job”, “No one likes me”, “Nothing ever goes right” kind of folks who might not even mind having the tagline, “Misery Loves Company” printed on their business cards. Those are the “drains” that top performers and mentally strong people bid a polite “No, thank you” to and steer clear.
Then there are the fountains. Those people who willingly share what they know. They make it their priority to lift those around them up, while pointing out the positives. The ones who believe in you and celebrate your success. These folks are usually always looking to learn something new, find the next opportunity, and are amazing about embracing change. They are truth seekers who aren’t fooled by the flash of a negative headline, or brought down by the naysayers. These are the people to spend time with, learn from, and adopt their habits as your own.
Look at these areas of your life and determine where you can replace drains with fountains:
Align yourself with people who can bring you closer to where you want to be and who you want to be.
Look to the successful and emulate their behavior. If someone is telling you “it can’t be done”, then be done with her. Perception is a mirror. Limiting advice is most often an indication of the limits the advisor puts on himself. Even just the whisper of “that’s not possible” or “that’s too hard of a goal” can shut people down in their tracks. Don’t let that be you. Dwell in possibility. Surround yourself with greatness. Great people. Great training. Great resources. Great inspirations. Then keep in motion.
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave them here, or find me on Facebook and share your experience!
And Help Them Live Better Lives
By Six Figure Real Estate Coach Roberta Ross
It’s a busy world we live in. One with lots of moving parts, task lists, and responsibilities. It’s also filled with amazing opportunities and relationships. This month I wanted to share a few things that seem to set mentally strong people apart and help them live more joyously and successfully.
- They look at setbacks as catalysts for change. Even a big loss can become a defining moment to find creative solutions and set your sites on future wins.
- They start and end their days with gratitude. The Law of Attraction is a vital force – we get back what we most put into the world. Pay attention to, and keep your focus on, all the things you are grateful for each day, make a mental note of them and be thankful.
- They replace worry and fear with action. Fear and worry are two of the biggest obstacles to success. They shut down your mind’s ability to think creatively and find solutions. Instead, replace those emotions with action, propelling yourself to move forward.
- They’re mindful of their self-talk. The world has enough critics – don’t let the voice inside your head be your worst one. Fuel your inner dialogue with positive affirmation and be your own best advocate instead!
- They create a no-drama zone. It’s really, really easy in today’s world to get sucked into other people’s drama. From the blaring negative news in mainstream media to the Negative Neds around the office water cooler, it doesn’t take long before you are deluged with negative influences. Mentally strong people walk away. They shut it off, shut it down, and focus on the business at hand, the opportunities before them, and the blessings they are counting. Drama is a drain – do not participate.
- They have fun. The power of laughter makes you less susceptible to pain, releasing endorphins, exercising your body, and engaging your social brain. So many get caught up in the idea that they have to work 24/7 to be successful, but the truth is that life can’t be lived in a state of imbalance and why would anyone want it to?. Making fun and joy a priority allows you to lead a more balanced life, and it re-charges your “batteries” to help you handle whatever comes your way.
- They keep things in perspective. Problems seem daunting when you keep them so close you lose their perspective. The mentally strong know how to balance their focus so they can see things more clearly. They prioritize what needs to be done in the moment, but are adept at taking that step back so as to not lose sight of the big picture as well.
- They exercise. Our brains are a muscle and just like the rest of our muscles and as such, it requires exercise to perform optimally. Top achievers don’t shy away from challenges or stay stuck in the same old way of doing things. They continually look for new solutions, new methods, and new strategies. They are lifelong learners, fueling their minds with new ideas all the time so that when a problem does arise, they have the mental nimbleness to find the opportunities in the obstacles.
- They ask for help. I know there are a lot of proclaimed “self-made” men and women out there, but the truth is they don’t get that way flying solo on everything. There is SO much to learn from others, so many people who can lend their perspectives, insights, and knowledge that it’s absolutely the smartest thing to reach out and tap into those resources. And in return, let others tap into your ideas and knowledge as well. Mentors and protégés, coaches and coaching members, and mastermind groups are all amazing relationships to explore for those who want to always be mentally on top of their game and ready for anything. You know what they say, “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room!” It’s true!
- They stay true to their core belief system. Most people have an internal compass that tells them when they are heading too far off their integrity level or core beliefs. It’s a grounding factor that sometimes takes some mental calisthenics, because it can be tempting to go for what’s easier, or faster, or seems like the quick dollar – but if it goes against who you are, and the things you most align yourself with, it will become a weight on your mind that will hold you back.
Challenge yourself to “work out” that magnificent mind you’ve been gifted with every day. These ten factors are a good place to start. I’d love to hear your thoughts as well! Share them here or find me on Facebook! Have a great week!