By Roberta Ross,
America's Six Figure Real Estate Coach
In today’s robust age of social media, “following” and “un-following” people in the cyber world is just a matter of a click. In under a minute you get to choose what you allow into your feed, your sphere, and your daily dose of social media. Especially now, during heated election climates – turning people’s opinions off or on has become even more of a chore. It’s interesting though, when you start to think about how we can do that out here in the physical world of colleagues, friends, family, and neighbors. It takes more than click to disconnect ourselves from influences that don’t meet our expectations, wreak havoc on our sensibilities, or stray far from our core beliefs.
A friend of mine who tends to get pulled into a lot of events and activities (which she often grows to resent) often remarks about how I don't, and that she's a bit envious. I tend to partake only in the gatherings that I feel a sincere interest in. This has kept my mind and time clear of a bunch of busyness and having to think about things, people, and drama that would only distract me from what I really want to experience. People say it is tough to say no. While it can be a challenge at times, when you consider how draining or toxic the wrong-fit people can be on your life, career, and family - in reality it's much easier. Not just because they have opinions that differ from yours. The world would certainly be a boring place indeed if we were all of the same opinion, right? Diversity is good. Questioning of opinions is good. Provoking new thoughts, ideas, even ideologies is healthy stuff. But those folks that cross the line by berating or belittling, or seemingly aren’t capable of a positive impact on your life? Those folks may be just the ones you need to not only filter out of your social media feed, but also out of your daily life.
Why? Because toxic people and influences inhibit your ability to grow to your full potential. Their negative expression often holds you back, challenges your strength, and maybe even your self-worth. Thankfully, no one really has or should be given that kind of control or power over your life and dreams. You are in the driver’s seat. The question is, are your hands on the wheel?
I encourage you to recognize the truth – that you are the one who determines who influences your days, your goals, your success – and even how you handle or manage failures. There’s a great quote by Hans Hasen that says, “People inspire you, or they drain you. PICK THEM WISELY.” The cool thing is that we do get to pick. Every day is a matter of choice in terms of who you let into your sphere. Will you look to mentors who can lift you up? Friends who are always there? Teachers or trainers or coaches who inspire you to shake off limitations and create substantial growth? It’s up to you.
Whether you’re scrolling through a social media feed or connecting with people out here in the real world, choose wisely the “friends” you follow and “un-follow”. Will that always be easy? Of course not. But here’s the thing – it’s not only all right to set boundaries, it’s really a well-being must. Figure out what your personal boundaries are and don’t be afraid to hold firm to them. Go to where you are lovingly drawn, to those who are of sincere interest, or those who share a similar passion for life. You are each other's path to more of what each of you want! Hanging out with the wrong-fit people inhibits your growth and theirs, so you're not doing each other any favors.
Say yes to what's "it" for you and no to what is "not it" for you. You need not sacrifice. And, remember, this is not about judgment. Judgment serves no one, especially you. Everyone is on their path at their pace. This is about choice. This one important shift is a huge step that can be the difference between success and failure, positive and negative relationships, and healthy versus an unhealthy life. Be a your own best friend and choose wisely!